


Ace Attorney

by cheesetoasted (nakajeems)



Series: Chaos Theory [2]
Category: Monsta X (Band)
Genre: Comedy, Humor, Minhyuk appears for all of 3 seconds, The Hyungwonho that nobody asked for, This is pretty nonsense but so is my life right now, i'm here to deliver
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-11-19
Updated: 2020-11-19
Packaged: 2021-03-09 18:00:38
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,375
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27630383
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/nakajeems/pseuds/cheesetoasted
Summary: Hyungwon is a lawyer who doesn't know any laws and Wonho just wants to dispute a parking ticket. Chaos ensues.
Series: Chaos Theory [2]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/2017835
Comments: 9
Kudos: 11





	Ace Attorney

**Author's Note:**

> This is based off a video I saw on Youtube called [The Lawyers That Don't Know Any Laws.](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gt7xhfQbtUY) Some of the dialogue is similar but the ending is different.
> 
> Like I said, this is the Hyungwonho nobody asked for, but I'm here to deliver content that you never knew you needed in your life.

Hyungwon did not go to law school. He does not know any laws but it’s not like that ever got in his way of him achieving his dreams. He watched the first three seasons of Suits and half an episode of Law and Order before he started looking for work on LinkedIn just to see what was available at the time. During the interview he told them that he knows all the laws, so many laws, more laws than a judge knows and they bought it.  
  
Hyungwon figured he would learn on the job, like we all do from time to time whenever we send in resumés to positions we are woefully under-qualified for. He has a suit, like lawyers are supposed to have, and has seen a real gavel before, unlike most of us. So frankly, he’s far ahead of many people.  
  
He didn’t think they would actually hire him, but the law is the law, and Hyungwon was told that he can be very charming. Somehow, the HR people at the firm thought he had 30 years of experience even though he clearly stated that he is only 26, and then he managed to make partner, which is even more mind boggling; a little confidence can take you very far he supposes. That’s just the unpredictability of life for you, you win some, you lose some, and for reasons Hyungwon simply cannot explain, he seems to have won quite a bit of some.  
  
Today is his toughest case yet (it is also his first case, and so by default it is definitely the toughest), a last minute addition to his otherwise empty schedule. Someone who supposedly calls himself ‘Wonho’ dropped by his office in search of a lawyer, which Hyungwon most definitely is (not).  
  
“Hi, how can I help you today?” Hyungwon says to the very muscly man sitting in front of him.  
  
Wonho reaches into his pocket to pull out a piece of paper. “Hello, I just want to see if I can dispute this parking–”  
  
“Hold on, let me guess,” Hyungwon lifts his hand to silence Wonho before he can continue. “This is a murder case.”  
  
“What?”  
  
“Are you here to talk about a murder?” Hyungwon asks eagerly.  
  
“No! This is about a parking ticket!” Wonho frowns.  
  
“Are you sure? Not a even a little bit?”  
  
“What on earth is a little bit of murder??”  
  
“Not even a robbery?”  
  
“No, still a parking ticket.”  
  
“Well, why did you park there then?”  
  
“I mean, I was quite sure it was a parking space.”  
  
“Look, this is a law firm. If I knew anything about space, I would be in NASA,” Hyungwon argues. “Who gave you the parking ticket?”  
  
“The parking inspector”  
  
“ _That bastard._ ”  
  
“Look, can you do it or not?” Wonho frowns.  
  
“Hoseok,” Hyungwon says seriously.  
  
“That’s… wait, I haven’t even told you– how did you know my–”  
  
“Hoseok, I can assure you that we’ll get to the bottom of this, even if it kills us,” Hyungwon reaches forward to give him a squeeze on his ridiculously formidable bicep. “And it just might, because here at Chae & Chae & Chae & Chae, we accept only the most dangerous of law cases. So come back tomorrow and we will see what can be done.”  
  
“It’s…it's just a parking ticket,” Wonho sighs.  
  
They part ways, and the moment Wonho closes the door, Hyungwon starts to panic. This is only his first case and he is already in way over his head. It’s already so high profile, this is going to be a media fiasco if this gets out, and now he’s going to have to get out of this using the law, like an actual lawyer would do.  
  
And so Hyungwon gets to work, searching up various laws. He watches even more episodes of Suits. He looks at books and magazines. He goes onto Naver and looks up “lawyers” and is mildly disappointed when his photo doesn’t turn up. He tries again with “sexy lawyers”, still nothing, but a new picture of Meghan Markle does show up. He calls up a friend, a contemporary, a peer, someone who knows just as many laws as he does.  
  
“This is Lee Minhyuk.”  
  
“Minhyuk,” Hyungwon says. “If I told you I hired a lawyer to see if my parking ticket can be disputed and he told me to come back tomorrow, what would you think.”  
  
“I dunno, man. He seems sus,” Minhyuk says.  
  
“You’re right.”  
  
Hyungwon puts down the phone.  
  
He goes back online, searches more kinds of law. Divorce law. Entertainment law. Family law. Industrial relations law. Tort law. He signs up for a new Google account in order to look at questions on Quora. He hits the ‘like’ button on several videos on YouTube. Now armed with this newfound knowledge, he goes to bed confident that he can lawyer his way out of this one.  
  
“Welcome back,” Hyungwon says the next day to Wonho. “Please have a seat.”  
  
Wonho takes a seat in front of Hyungwon’s desk.  
  
“So about the case, I believe there are several loopholes,” Hyungwon says.  
  
“What?”  
  
"It will require an affidavit, a subpoena and probably a deposition. Maybe even several depositions, depending on the affidavit and the subpoena.”  
  
“So can I dispute this or not?”  
  
“Well, according to the jurisdiction of the court of laws and powers vested in me by the Supreme Chief Court Justice, I will need to see where you parked in order to proceed with any legal action.”  
  
“Fine, okay.”  
  
So they both hop into Wonho’s car to head over to the place where Wonho was issued the parking ticket. After bustling around the city for another 30 minutes, they park by the street under some ginkgo trees. Then they both stare at the car for about half an hour.  
  
“Nothing is really happening,” Hyungwon observes.  
  
He’s absolutely right and correct. To kill some time, they decide to get ice cream in a nearby ice cream shop. It’s a very cute shop, everything smells like sugar, fairies and dreams of a post pandemic life on this bitch of an earth. Hyungwon orders strawberry with pieces of candy stuck in the ice cream with like bunny ears and Wonho gets a chocolate fudge sundae.  
  
“Are you sure you’re a lawyer?” Wonho squints at Hyungwon just as he takes another bite of his ice cream.  
  
“You can test me, I know all the laws,” Hyungwon assures him, even though he doesn’t actually know _all_ the laws, in his mind he is correct at least 60% of the time. He is genuinely feeling confident though, since he did search up quite a few of them the night before, and would probably stand a pretty solid chance if he went on Jeopardy.  
  
“What genre is this?” Wonho asks him.  
  
Trick question. They are in Korea, eating ice cream in an ice cream shop that is playing “Ice Cream” by Blackpink with Selena Gomez, and even though it is mostly in English, and Selena Gomez is in it, this is most definitely–  
  
“Kpop,” Hyungwon says confidently.

“I was talking about the type of law this would fall under, but okay–”  
  
Hyungwon shushes him and Wonho just looks at Hyungwon like ‘ _what did he get himself into_ ’. After three more servings of frozen desserts, they pay for their ice cream and both of them decide to head back to Hyungwon's home office.  
  
“Do you do this often?” Wonho asks.  
  
“Do what often?”  
  
“Go out for ice cream with your clients?”  
  
“Oh. First time, actually.”  
  
Hyungwon is not lying. This is his first case, and so therefore it really is his first time having ice cream with a client. The weather is good today, the ginkgo leaves are turning yellow, the streets are relatively clear. Hyungwon and Wonho are walking together side by side on the street like they are in some kind of cheesy k-drama that starts off with a promising premise but ends up being a just like every other k-drama before it: bland content catering to a largely heteronormative audience who want to live vicariously through screen actors.  
  
“Oh no…!!!!” Wonho suddenly exclaims.  
  
Well, something did happen while they were both at the ice cream parlour, Wonho’s car is being towed away.

**Author's Note:**

> I swear I am planning an actual serious proper Hyungwonho fic that will see the light of day sometime in the future when she's ready to emerge from her cocoon.
> 
> Until then, watch me complain about everything [here](https://twitter.com/shinjieatcurry)
> 
> The line about Hyungwon being correct at least 60% of the time was from a convo with [ajaaibghar](https://archiveofourown.org/users/ajaaibghar/pseuds/ajaaibghar) who is my enabler.


End file.
